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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Morning darkness


Dear Doctor,

Still having the same trouble but maybe it’s not so urgent. Maybe it’s come down a couple notches since that tiny wet breakdown. Two night ago I was really satisfied and wanted to go to sleep but with a little nudge I got up to try to get some more work done. I stared at my computer screen, sent a couple e-mails and wasn’t making any progress. Sleep has been horrible and I knew I had to be up in the morning. I felt defeated and useless. So I packed up and made my way to bed, where I started to cry. It was a full out messy face sob fest. Maybe it’s only in my head but I think it helped a little.

Now it’s 7a and I face a day where I’m starting behind and I will get distracted and need to turn my attention to many other things making me abandon my long to-do list and end the day even more behind. Every task I complete will lead to 5 new ones and I have a 4 hour meeting right in the middle of the day.

I’m not holding a ton of hope for today even though it’s the first thing in the morning. That’s when I feel my most optimistic.

Wish me luck.

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