Day 1

Day 1

I popped two pills and went to bed at 11p last night. I’m figuring that’s a good mid range bed time for a 30 yr old. I woke up at 4a. I rolled woozily over and thought “I’m not supposed to be awake.” I noted the time and fell back asleep. I repeated this at 7a and finally got out of bed at 8:30a. I remember no nightmares.

K asked me if I was ok. I said no. But I didn’t know what was wrong. I think I said “I just hate today.”

I walked to work. My face was cold and I was angry about losing my scarves and hats and my earmuffs.

Work is practically deserted today. I would feel better if these people worked on the weekends like I do. My 12:30 was a no show until he called at 1p. He’s on his way now. My 1p was apparently cancelled but no one told me and there might not have been on in the first place. I’m going to finished up here and walk home.

9:30p

I’m not drunk. I haven’t had a drink since my one morning shot. These nights are the kinds that inviting the whiskey. I’m home alone and will have to go to bed alone.

Tonight I stared at the TV mindlessly watching mindless television for 2 hours watching the time I had to make something of the night tick away. The weird mood never left me. I wasn’t upset or happy. I was just apathetic.

Right now I’m watching a documentary on the 1930’s and I finished a comic strip. I’m on track to be in bed at 10:30 after slipping two more pills into me.

We’ll see where this takes us.