Composing my speech

 

Tomorrow I have an appointment with the doctor who told me I was bipolar 8 years ago. At the time I thought he was crazy and ran away. Turns out I was the one that was crazy. My decision to seek him out and find him again was in one of my down times when I was just sick of riding this rollercoaster. And more than ever I’m looking forward to my future and seeing that I’m going to need to be a bit more stable if I want to make a family work.

So I thought I’d prepare some speaking points so I don’t spend all of my valuable expensive time rambling about how much I hate my job right now.

-I turned 30 – I now feel a sense of urgency to be happy, make something of myself and make an impact.

-I’m scared as hell that I’m going to pass this crazy on to a baby or just be an awful mother.

-My work that has always been stressful is now not rewarding. Long hours, all the responsibility, no acknowledgment, feeling alone.

-I am drinking too much.

-Is there a drug I can take just when I need it? I’m an expert on self-medicating.

That should lead me to enough to talk about.

I’m nervous and excited and I want to go to the library when I’m finished, or just walk around Oakland.