The house doors just opened. I’m just a crew member tonight.
It’s comforting. I miss not being in charge for a minute. I miss a lot about my
career and the way is started. When I think about it I get really depressed. It’s
just not what it was.
I got into this business because I was a misfit and it was
somewhere that I felt like I belonged. Now I’m the enemy. The management. Now I’m
still the misfit I always was and I love theater like I always have and now I’m
pushed out of the click. I’m alone in my world again.
There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think of doing
something else with my life, finally finding a passion and pursuing it. I think
I’m just burnt out, done with this.
These feelings lead me into worrying about money and saving
and why it seems impossible. It’s frustrating. I used to survive on so much
less. How? How can I get back there?
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