I didn’t get to update last night because I was experiencing
an all too familiar sinus headache and wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t even want
to go up to 3 because it would be warmer up there and he’d smother me so a
quick shower and into bed. It was one of my worst nights of sleep in awhile, I
tossed and turned and generally felt sick. One more night of awful sleep.
The rest of the day went well though. Another personal
training session in the bag with a bit of cardio, lunch with my mom, cucumber
shopping and home. I’d say yesterday was an 8.6 because I experienced another
symptom. Fear. Just thinking about death in any form can reduce me to short
breath, heart pounding and tears. I identified this as one of the reasons for
day drinking when I’m up like this. Walking around in fear of the inevitable
future is miserable.
I’d also check off “cries easily” on my future check list to
track myself. Happy stories choke me up. More than a normal human. This is also
miserable but can be escalated by alcohol if I pass a certain point. Then I
start thinking about myself and all the floodgates let loose.
In other morning news: Children cost $30,000 the first year
they’re alive. I think I’ll just save up for cool camera equipment and
vacations. Think of all the vacations and camera stuff we could have!
No comments:
Post a Comment