One of the topics that occupies my mind frequently is the idea of choice. I am drawn back to a memory of sitting alone in a dark theater lobby somewhere around 2004. I was sitting on the large marble stairs where I’d always felt at home. Tears were rolling down my face and my cell phone was pressed to my ear. The specific cause of my grief that moment is lost in the details but most assuredly it involved getting myself into a crumbling false marriage and seeing no way to change my life. It is a situation that has repeated itself many time. I am feeling stuck where I am, just treading water every day.
That day I was relating my agony to a friend who lived in New Orleans at the time and had seen me through some difficult moments. He could always talk sense into me it seemed. At that moment he told me that we were lucky. We were able to make choices when so many people in the world were not. I quieted by sobbing. I felt guilty. He was right. I had so much control over my life that just crying about it was wasting time.
I’m now in the middle of the book The Art of Choosing and it’s so dense with information that I’ve craved that I want to read it a second time even before I’ve finished the first reading. I’m also juggling around my new idea of Numerical Justification. If I can accurately learn to assign numbers to my emotions, then simple equations can determine the correct choice to be made and I can be confident in the outcome.
I’m sure I’m not the first one to think about this or the last one but it’s a fun notion to play around with and I’d love to write a little bit about my discoveries. I’d also like to draw more escape drawings, paint my hot air balloon and draw a comic.
So choice has been on my mind recently and I’m looking to change my life up a bit to make myself happier. I’m going to start by knocking a few things off of my to-do list.
P.S. This was one of them!
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