Dear Boyfriend,
I would normally just try to stuff all this inside of me so you didn't claim I was giving you a guilt trip but I thought maybe telling you how I felt might... I don't know what it will do. It might just make you angry but I hope it doesn't.
You're getting a kitten. I didn't know until you were talking to your parents about it. And it's going to be your kitty. And you didn't ask me what I thought about it or ask my opinion and you didn't ask me to have any part in helping you pick it out or anything. I know that you did this because your ex-wife stole your cat away from you and so you're not sharing this kitty. But cat's live for another 15-20 years and so someday (in that secret future that you have) we may live together and the cat will be there. And it will be your cat. And it will never be our cat. And I will feel left out. And in my future I picture a house and a family and pets and I want to be part of something bigger than myself, a family. I don't feel like your letting me be a part of your life, now or in the future. It's messing up my dreams for the future. I don't even know what I see in my future anymore. I want to dream and you and us but you've given me no reason to. So I try just generic dreaming or dreaming for both of us but it's alway in the back of my mind, "Maybe he doesn't see me in his future."
I hate that I just wrote all that. It sounds so insecure and needy. Maybe I won't send this. Maybe I'll post it. Maybe I'll just delete it. Maybe I'll keep you out and see if you notice. Maybe I'll close down a little bit to protect myself.
Or maybe I'll send this and just apologize like mad for writing it.
Any way you think about it, I don't win. Nothing will change and I'll just feel bad about how I feel.
Yours,
Girlfriend
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