I hate Tom Cruise

It’s 11:14p and I just sat down at my desk after an exhausting day to write about my progress and gasped out loud when I realized I’d forgotten my 10:30 pills. I took the L but the C has to wait until we get home so I’m not too tired to drive. Speaking of: I think I’ll go get the car.

So then I went and got the car and on the way I got a text from K saying he was across the street and wanted to see me. You see, he’s been on the night shift for a bit now and we don’t get to spend any time together anymore. So I hurried to the car and then hurried back then rushed out the door. He wasn’t on Liberty anymore so I dropped down to Sharp Edge, right at the edge of where I could be. And I stood. And I texted. And I waited. And if you know me then you know waiting is one of my most anxious times. There was no response. I ended up getting the courage to walk over to the PA’s who’s job it is to stand by the bike rack and not let any of the drunks through. I made some chit chat with them about meal breaks and they even offered to find K, but they didn’t know him. So I reluctantly walked back got the car and went home. I’d gotten my hopes up and inadvertently crushed myself. On the ride home I held back the tears, who was I to cry over not seeing my love when so many people around the world are separated from theirs. What right do I have to cry when so many people in the world will never find a love like this? Then I felt guilty.

And now? Now I’m sitting in the kitchen with one really strong cocktail. I took C at midnight. I’ve also got a pot of water boiling with some tortellini in it. The smell of bacon when I got home made me hungry for real food and I realized I forgot a meal today. All of these factors will effect tomorrow’s entry….