I’ve spent a lot of my life being wanted and not valued. Most of the time I would lie to myself and equate the two. But there is a difference, a significant difference and now I know. One stunning success story is my personal life. For so many years I held on to the feeling I got when someone wanted me, it was that situation that gave me the small feeling of worth I had. The difference now is knowing that there is someone who values me, not just craves me, but knows that I am worth a lot. Does this mean that my worth is dependant on others feelings? Oh my, this isn’t going where I wanted it.
Recently I heard that my last job, which I left because I was totally miserable, finally got rid of the person who was making me miserable. I wanted to scream from the roof “I told you so!!” But I didn’t. I heard that they wanted me back. I was honored. My friend said I should ask for a letter of apology.
So tonight I received a call from my former boss. He told me that wanted to hire me back as my old title. Partime. No teaching. No designing. No students. Nothing that was important to me. Then he said that other people were trying to start a tech department. I HAD a tech department and they destroyed it. He told me I could bring back all the people who used to help us. I could hire back the old students.
They want me back but they don’t value me. What an offensive offer! I need to be strong and stand up for myself.
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