Tabs don't work

Last night I had a weird dream that my parents were buying a new house and I was looking for a house too? The first house had slanted floors and I had a really hard time standing up. The second house was a mansion and had a waterfall into a swimming pool with gardens all around it inside a big atrium. Also another pool inside (outside?). It was way over their budget but they were going to buy it anyway so we could have parties. To me this didn’t seem like a good idea, we didn’t have anyone to invite and what would happen if they got hurt on the big tile staircase next to the waterfall? I think I talked them out of it. I also revealed that my ex C and I had posed s buyers (broke in) and looked at the house and went swimming in it. My subconscious has been in high gear recently.

Now if only I could convince my metabolism to join it. I pushed it pretty hard this week at the gym and I feel stronger and I’m noticing muscles I didn’t know I had. It’s mesmerizing. However, I gained 2 pounds and I’m visibly lumpier than normal. My nutrition is ridiculously awful. I will eat entire boxes of mac and cheese and not touch a damn vegetable for a week. I hate healthy food and it makes me feel sad. Wendy’s makes me feel happy.

Don’t have the bad food in the house.

Stick to a diet.

Stop eating fast food.

Eat smaller portions.

I know what to do! I just can’t do it! I’ve heard all that cutting calories, fat, sugars, carbs, pesticides and I’d love to. I’d love to sit down to a plate of grilled vegetables and think “This is going to be awesome!” I’d love to feel satisfied after 5 grains of rice and a nice small glass of organic fat free soy milk. But that would require some serious mind reprogramming and I think I left my determination in the fridge with the cookie dough.

Onto other matters. Last night I couldn’t fall asleep. Yesterday gets a 7.5. Yesterday was Friday. So that leaves Thursday as about a 6.5. There I think I’ve got a string going. Let’s see.

Today 8/4: TBD

Friday 8/3:                        7.5

Thursday 8/2:                        6.5

Wednesday 8/1:            6

Tuesday 7/31:                        5

Monday 7/30:                        3.5

Sunday 7/29:                        3

Saturday 7/28:                       

Friday 7/27:

Thursday 7/26:

Wednesday 7/25:               4.5

Tuesday 7/24:                        4

Monday 7/23:                        5.5

Sunday 7/22:                        6

Saturday 7/21:                        6.5

Friday 7/20:                         7

Thursday 7/19:             8.5

Wednesday 7/18:            8

Tuesday 7/17:                        7.5

Monday 7/16:                        6

Well there’s a gap but overall not too bad. Reviewing my blog entries though, I could almost guess what number I was at by my writing style and tone. Well here’s to making today a 6.5!