Grazing 5

I’d love to say I’m great right now but that’s not exactly the truth. I suppose I’m a lot better off than some others but in my internal scale of happiness, I’m barely grazing the 5. My sleep had been pretty bad since he left. It’s like my body is looking for any excuse not to sleep. Too hot, too cold, too uncomfortable, need to go to the bathroom, need to get a drink… And that’s after I drag myself away from the nightly marathons of crime TV. My diet? Let’s just say I’m trying to live off of breaded chicken and ranch dressing. My fingernails? Gone. I haven’t seen a decent fingernail on my hand in weeks. My drinking? Constant with a dose of binge. These are all signs of depression. But I thought this should be better. Or is this better? Would I be at home refusing to go to work and eating bags and bags of peanut butter cups?